Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize