She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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