This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
