hell yes lets make some ravioli
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
