I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
