I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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