is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
