Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
