it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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