i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
