I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
