Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
