i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize