he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
