Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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