drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
