I smell stomach acid.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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