It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
