do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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