Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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