Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
