you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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