I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
