it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
