I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
