i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I pour the whiskey from now on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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