Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
