when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize