I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
