i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
