so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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