So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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