evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
