I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
