Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
