just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
