My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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