Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
