That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
