***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
