Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
