Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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