He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
