oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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