Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
