We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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