He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
