ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
