I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
