Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
