Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
