She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
