I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
