Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
