I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
