It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
