She is in my trunk
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
