Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
