Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
