Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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