haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
