it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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