Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
