There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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