Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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